Defiant beauty

You don’t know me probably wouldn’t be able to pick my face out of a crowd.I was merely the girl you and your buddy chose to harass over some ridiculous male bonding ritual that I as a woman will never fully comprehend. From the moment that we met I did everything in my power to quite literally push you away. Yet the more agitated I became the more you seemed or appeared to enjoy the “game”. Yet I feel as if I owe you a thanks because after our encounter and my having built up the courage to tell you that you do NOT define me something beautiful took place inside of me.At the age of only seventeen I was imprisoned by an unhealthy addiction to beauty and the desire to be what others define as attractive. I lost sight however of the fire and passion I had possessed back when I was still the ” ugly duckling “.The swan had gotten her first taste of male admiration the year before our encounter and my greatest desire at that moment in time was rather pathetic. It was to fit in to conform to a rather shallow ideal. To be someone’s ” dream girl ” in the past I was always someone’s safety net or “fall back” girl but that was never what I wanted.I desired one man in all the world to see the “real me” because in my heart I have always known that the beauty I possess would be obvious to the one that God himself chose for me.I finally found him in November of 2006, someone who was kind and generous despite having very little in the way of material wealth.Yet he makes me feel more beautiful when I look into his eyes than any man that I have ever met. I almost feel sorry for you because if you spend your whole lives believing that a woman’s only worth is her appearance then you have robbed yourself of knowing that beauty is measured in the heart and that is where I knew that I always possessed it most defiantly.


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