Fat shaming…skinny shaming and everything in between

Today I noticed the most ridiculous question staring back at me from my Twitter feed.It went something like this”Why do “fat” girls dislike being called fat? Its like dude, you are a walking advertisement for big blue tub margarine.” My simple reply was this: Maybe because they already know what they weigh and think that their “value” should not solely lie on what they look like.
Why don’t men get it? Is the question that I am asking here, Are they really under the ridiculous impression that “overweight women” are any less self aware than their male counterparts? Why on earth do they think eating disorders affect the female population at such an overwhelming rate? Newsflash: Fat women know that they are fat! As women we all own mirrors, we can see our own double chins without having every “thin” “fit” or even obese “guy point that out to us.The majority of us own bathroom scales and see a doctor pretty regularly .So my question is this: When you ” just chill” with your guy friends are you as critical of your overweight buddies as you are the woman in your life? Because if so I find that kind of sad. As a woman I am very glad that the friends that I have chosen to associate with do not define themselves or me solely by our physical qualities.I am in no way making the erroneous statement that only men “body shame” because in the past I have been shamed about my physical appearance as much by women as I was by men, I am saying that truly “evolved” or even “enlightened” people see beyond that which is just surface. As a teenager I was sometimes exasperated with the young women who pointed out the fact that I “only had one arm” so much so that I actually began a ridiculous act where I would “gasp” in shock and go “you are right, I never would have known if you hadn’t told me” (yes this was met with eye rolls ;which ironically was my reaction to the original statement). Here’s the thing though, over the years I grew to love and appreciate my body for all the things that it was capable of rather than hating it because it didn’t look like everyone else’s.I have friends who are tall and thin to me they are beautiful, friends who are on the “short side” anyone who makes the ridiculous assumption that “short girls can’t be sexy” has obviously never seen these ladies because they are “knock outs” .I also have friends who may be slightly overweight or “chunky” like me and yes to me these women are beautiful as well. Before any of you guys get offended let me also say that even when I was young thin and shopped in the “petite” section I didn’t automatically think of overweight men as “unattractive” either.Some of my closest male friends fell into that category and for the most part I did see many of these fellows as “handsome” like my friend Lisa(my beautiful but “chunky bff in highschool)’s brother Charles.What made Charles stand out to me however was the simple fact that he was not afraid to be different unlike a lot of guys at that age he was easy to talk to and was not afraid of having ” deep” or “intellectual” discussions.So I was just thinking about Meghan Trainor and her song “All about that Bass” (one of the many songs that my brother in law used to drive me crazy by hitting the “repeat” button , well repeatedly, on)”I get that if I were thinner it would be very possible to hear some of the lyrics about “stick figured barbie dolls” and assume that the song was “skinny shaming” rather than “body positive” but if I may , as someone who at different seasons in her life has been on both sides of the “weight divide”, when I was thin I was not embarrassed to go swimming because ” looking good in a bathing suit” was a non-issue.I did not hesitate to go shopping because I didn’t get depressed or exasperated with my body because I was not “big enough” to fit into a pair of pants.I simply went a size smaller.I am in no way saying that thin people have it easy so please don’t misconstrue the intent here because I also have friends who do not in any way starve themselves who get the whole “you look anorexic, have a sandwich” treatment .I am saying that in our particular culture a certain “look” is coveted and there are people starving themselves or working themselves to the bone to achieve that “look” and no it isn’t just girls , there is also rampant steroid use among males that is happening in a distorted attempt to achieve the “male equivalent” of that look. In a way I am glad that “body shaming” has become as taboo as it now is because to me this is a form of bullying and bullying is not something that I either condone or support but above and beyond that I desire to see a day where people whomever they might be equal more than the sum of their parts.


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